Friday, June 22, 2012

Fantasy Literature (Top Ten Reasons Why It's Awesome)

This week's epic read!
     I love Fantasy Literature. If it came down to it, I'd probably claim it as my favorite genre. I mean seriously, who doesn't get even a little bit geeked out at the thought of epic quests, ethereal locations, and mysterious characters? OK, probably lots of people, but for those of us who do, you know what I'm talking about!

Top Ten Reasons Why Fantasy Literature Is Awesome:

10: Just Like Real Life
Good vs. Evil, "ordinary" people doing extraordinary things, and accepting deals from sketchy figures in back alleys is always a bad idea. 

9: No Loose Ends
If you meet someone, find something, or go somewhere, it will somehow inevitably apply latter in the story. (Or sequel at the very least)

8: Problems Solved In Cool Ways
Break it, smash it, burn it, melt it, stab him, poison it, aim for the weak points, rebuild it, rescue her, kiss her, etc. (Not a single piece of paper work to be submitted!)

7. Nothing Like Real Life
Peasants become royalty on a regular basis, magic items cure any disease, and evil villains are obligated to exclusively wear sinister apparel. 

6: Talking Animals
"I'm a talking wolf," said the Talking Wolf...

5: Legacies. 
Recent surveys indicated 99% of fantasy characters had parents who fought for something worth dying for. (sure we miss them, but they always leave behind such cool stuff for us!)

4: Magic
(Duh, it's magic!)

3: Currency
Gold is somehow both ten times as easy to find and ten times as valuable as it is in real life!

2: Non-Lethal Death-Traps
Only in the fantasy world can you fall for the most obvious of the enemies tricks, but then still manufacture a technicality and win the day. I really don't know who looks dumber really...

1: Irony
The people who love fantasy lit would be the first to snuff it if they ever got into that world. Actually, they'd never even make it to the dragon's den. If you can't do stairs, don't try mountains. (Maybe that's why people like me love learning all the facts about made up worlds; our usefulness is limited to walking-encyclopedia/peon.)

(If I've missed anything in this list please let me know)

Until next time, keep your sword at the ready and lay off the poison apples!


Sir Jake of Rivers

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