Some days not so much.
I have a healthy body, a good beard and an obnoxious collarbone.
I sometimes feel like I'm all legs.
On the unseen side of my green eyes come deep and intricate thoughts.
I am complicated.
There is so much I want to learn and experience.
I'm really smart too.
More than I ever thought I would be growing up.
I hurt really easily too and I sometimes find it hard to control my emotions.
I cry too easily.
I love my sense of humour and I am so good at making myself laugh!
Sometimes I think a thousand years would not be enough time to accomplish all that I want to experience.
Some days I hate being alive.
I'm slow at making decisions.
I love eating exotic foods and traveling to exotic places.
I want to be a husband and a father.
I am quick to judge other people because they are different.
I give good hugs.
I love stories.
I still struggle with a lot of guilt from my past.
I let people down.
I put myself first most of the time.
I put myself down too often.
I need to lighten up.
I need to have more dance parties.
I love analogies.
I hate my lack of self-control.
I love my friends.
I love the blessing of accountability.
I don't trust me.
I am interesting.
I really like me.
I'm really broken.
I am precious and depraved.
I am a sinner saved by grace.
I am purchased by God.
This is who I am.
Nothing overshadows the significance of the cross. The horrific, physical death of the Son of God is the crossroad where the depth of my sin and offense was met and conquered by the unfathomably great power of God Almighty. Where is there reason to have fear or guilt? Where is the room for boasting? Without the cross I would be forced to reside on one of two wrong sides in my understanding of who I am.
The wickedness of Jake Rivers was so great and so real that the slaughter of the Son of God himself was the only way I could be saved.
But He really did die for all those things.
Paid in full.
And his resurrection proved that my sin and the sin of the whole world was stripped of its power to condemn me.
I can't be me without the cross.
I can't embrace goodness of who God made me to be without confronting the hellish reprobation that is just as truly "Jake" as anything else is.
And vice versa.
The catholicity of who I am comes down to a Christ imputed righteousness.
And that that makes me happy!
"For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified." (1 Cor 2:2)