Wednesday, May 19, 2010


Is there a theology to feeling yucky? C.S. Lewis once likened the fundamental human dissatisfaction in God, to a child playing in the mud, refusing to enjoy a venture to the ocean. We are quick to overlook the great things of God, as we are too easily amused with ordinary, temporal things. Well, as it goes without saying that even the redeemed are prone to discontentment, a change does take place in regards to the delights we now find misplaced. Sin just doesn't satisfy the way it used to!

I once described a spiritually dry period as being less enjoyable than eating a bag of raw flour. Today was like drinking day-old oatmeal through a straw. Ew! One of the best and worst things about being a Christian is that it takes almost all the fun out of sin.

On a related note, today is a special day because it marks 9 years since the day God saved me and brought me into his family. The part I couldn't figure out (among others) is how exactly (if at all) does one celebrate that on each anniversary? Well, I never really got to far with that question because the day has now ended and the end result was that I opted (through my actions) to aim low for godliness. I just really dropped the ball on this one...

Don't you hate it though, when the regret precedes the retrospect?

Am I still so human that I can spend a day, aware that I'm missing out on my figurative ocean adventure, yet all the while resigning myself to the mud pile? I do selfish thoughts like its my job, all the while knowing how great the freedom that is in Christ! And yes, some days it is almost impossible for us to raise up out heads to praise God in the face of the brokenness of this world, but I am not in that boat! I have it so good right now! I am blessed so deeply with a beautiful fiancée, a college degree, a new full time job (as of today!) and a thousands more blessing! But even the presence of gifts as wonderful as these, is not going to make me impervious to a wallowing tendency.

I sit when I should stand; wallow, when I ought to run away. I think part of me still practices avoidance to any semblance of the concept, that Jesus Christ needed to die on the cross because there is no other way in all creation to pay for offense of my laziness and disinterest. It was obviously pretty serious to God...

I have a lot to think over for tonight...starting with how to get the imprint of a fence off my butt!



1 comment:

  1. you write so honestly. It's refreshing! Thanks for sharing all that...I love you!